Monday, July 15, 2013

Heatnado

First off, it's pronounced heat-nah-do. In my mind, anyway.

Flashback to 8:43 this morning. I'm running to catch the last 8 o'clock train, and dripping sweat because the weather is swampier than Florida. I notice this guy staring at me as I approach the platform and then again once on the train and I'm instantly (more) enraged because I can't stand when people stare/judge for sweating. Sine I can't hit the off-switch, I slip into automatic defense mode.

For about five minutes straight, we've got dude staring / me sweating/raging inside, ready to snap at him if he approaches me. Well, he did... and the conversation went a little like this:

Dude: Hey, how's it going?
Me: Um, not well. I don't handle the heat well, as you can tell. (immediately wrapped up in something super interesting on my phone) [EVEN MORE ENRAGED]
Dude: What's your name?
Me: Krista, WHY?! (I realize I was being incredibly mean but could not turn off the anger. it was a heatnado people!)
Dude: Do you have a boyfriend? / Will you go out with me?

[pause] [try to process what is happening] [wtf. wtf? wtf!]

Bottom line: Dude approached a sweaty heatbeast-mid-episode and literally tried to get himself a HOT date*
Ha!

*this pun brought to you by jess nelson mobile.